October 24, 2012 by hookershorde
October 23rd, 2012 – The Procurer
In True Blood, on HBO, a procurer is a vampire who seduces humans and brings them to a higher-ranking vampire for feeding.
I am a procurer.
I don’t procure humans for higher-ranking vampires to feast on. Instead, I procure the ever elusive Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert ticket. Performed in the 21,000-seat assembly hall located near Temple Square in downtown Salt Lake City, the three performances and dress rehearsal SELL OUT. Well, they don’t sell out because it’s free.
It’s ironic; me, a non-member procuring some of the best seats in the house.
As a member of the Snyderville Basin Planning Commission in Park City, Utah, I was invited several years ago to an elite event featuring dinner and the concert. I saw Natalie Cole one year. Truth be told, watching the Mormon Tabernacle Choir perform with world-class artists and readers like Jane Seymour, is somewhat miraculous.
My mother, staunchly LDS and adhering to all of the commandments, covets these tickets.
Last year, I took her as my date. We dined in the Joseph Smith Office Building (I call it the SOB for “Smith Office Building) with a number of non-LDS people from my County. The “Church” uses the event to show the outside world that they are a perfectly normal religion.
Nothing gets me in the holiday spirit like the gazillion lights on Temple Square, the cold air and the carols.
This year, on October 21st, mother called me in a bit of a panic. “Do you have access to tickets?”
“No,” I replied, “I’m out of politics.”
“Well,” continued mother, “before midnight please register on this site for a chance to get tickets.”
“Say it again,” I asked.
She said, “lds.org/events,” while I typed.
After I registered, I posted on Facebook.
Hey Everyone! My mama LOVES to see the MoTab Christmas Concert. But, tickets go fast . . .they’re free. Would you please go to the following website and register for tickets? lds.org/events Then, if you don’t want o go and will give your tickets to my mama, I’ll buy you a drink. Seriously . . this is her FAVORITE holiday treat and I don’t have a way to to get tickets anymore. If you do get tickets and give them to my mama, I’ll take you out for a drink!!!!
Okay, offering to buy drinks for anyone who could procure tickets might be a bit tacky since it is the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. But, I actually want to go this year. Tom Brokaw is narrating. LOVE HIM.
Within minutes, my second cousin messaged, “Call my dad. He has tickets.”
I procured four tickets to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert.